How to feel Acceptance
A shift from shame to acceptance removes the negative charge so you may properly process what happened.
Superpowers used: selflessness, movement, tribe, play
Other tools may be used as well. View all tools to shift states here.
How to shift from shame to acceptance
There's a lot we can learn from the mistakes we make.
Shame typically occurs after we experience a combination of surprise and disgust with ourselves.
Maybe we acted in a way that didn't feel like 'us.' And we have some remorse about what we did.
Shame is a signal we did something that doesn't align with who we are. It's important we tune in and learn the lesson.
What could I have done differently? Why did I choose to do X instead of Y?
Shame doesn't exist to punish but guide. It's an important evolutionary tool that can help us become who we want to be.
But it can be problematic in 2 different ways:
- Using shame as punishment instead of wisdom
- Holding onto shame because we feel the need to suffer for what we did
This is when shame can become corrosive. No longer serving a purpose, it can devour our sense of self instead of adding value to it.
After we learn from what shame has to teach, we must accept.
This can be difficult – and the difficulty level is typically based on our patterns and/or the severity of the event that caused the shame.
Regardless, there are tools we have that can break us out of this cycle and into acceptance.
Only then can we take the valuable lessons shame has to teach and move on with our life in a better way.